Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Letter to Little Man

Dear Little Man,

My sweet, sweet boy. You were sick on your birthday this year and so was I, but that didn't stop us from celebrating your birth. We were going to go to a bounce house or a soft playroom but when I saw the dark circles under your beautiful green eyes, I pulled out the Toy Story Movie and the Elmo Christmas Countdown (because you don't know that it isn't seasonal, you love Santa all year long) and let you and your brother snuggle up and watch TV all morning. I felt bad that we couldn't do something more fun, but you wiggled onto my lap and told me how great it was to get to watch all of a movie in one day. I hope you always find such pleasure in the little things. You are still content if you get 3 or 4 M&M's instead of the whole bag. You get so excited with the promise of 2 whole cookies or 2 George's instead of just one. I love seeing the world through your eyes because you simplify it down to its very core. Happy or sad, easy or hard, long or short, 1 or 2 and help me not get so caught up in the minutia.

You are so sweet and sensitive and still want to make everyone happy which I think it is getting trickier as you get older and realize that pleasing everyone is not always easy. You still ask me "Are you happy with me Mama?" at random times because knowing that I am happy with you gives you security and makes you feel good. I always tell you that I am happy with you but might not always like your choices. But to be fair, you are amazing for a 4 year old. Your restraint and poise and love you have for your siblings make me so proud. I often tell you that you can be whatever you want to be as long as you are nice to others. We talk about you being a zookeeper as long as you are a nice zookeeper or an astronaut as long as you are a nice astronaut. And you are, nice and sweet to everyone even your brother when he tries to take your favorite Buzzlight Year toy. Although the sassing is getting worse it is tempered by your sweetness and the love you have for everyone.

You have a special love for each of us. Your love for your sister is the protective kind. You hate to see her crying or sad and will spend 30 minutes dangling a toy over her head just to get her smiles. Your love for your brother is the friendship kind. You so enjoy being the ringleader to your brotherly antics of flying around the house or pretending to spy on me. Your love for your Papa is full of admiration as you want to be just like him even down to making a hole in your sock because you think Papa's always have holes in their socks (yes, I need to get your Papa some new socks) and your love for me is the sweet bond of a mother and son. You slept in my arms for the first year of your life and even though you are more independent now, you always find your way back to my arms 10 or 20 times a day.

Tonight as I tucked you in and leaned down to inhale the smell in the crook of your next, you wiggled and giggled and asked me why I was sniffing on you. Oh I made up a silly reason at the time, but the truth is that I wanted to remember that moment. The moment you turned 4 so that when you turn 16 or 20 I can pull this memory out and remember the you of 4 because you are such a special, smart, sensitive little 4 year old and I want to stop the clock for just a second. You are going to do wonderful things in your life, but they won't wait until you are an adult. You are already making a difference to people today with your ability to love and understand those around you and your desire to see the world a happy place.

I am so proud to be your mama and I love you so much!


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